leonard and the telescopic trachea

Needless to say, the title is a work in progress. But I think I'm happy with how the story turned out, and it's not like it's a baby [just written for one], so who cares if I don't name it right away? Anyway, it's my first stab ever at a children's book.* Anthropomorphic animals teach us all a valuable lesson... or something.

cruelty to stuffed animals

I'm having entirely too much fun... but you know what's even more fun??

Sleep!

no, really...

...the dog totally ate my homework.

i've got the setlist, you pop the popcorn

Welcome to October, home to your favorite holiday and mine! This year's festivities promise to be even more fun-filled and fan-fucking-tastic than most... but more on that later. For now, let's return to my most recent post, when I dangled the promise of mixed-media mix tapes in front of you.

Here, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls... is your first installment.

if you're thinking of reading this post...

I've been thinking a lot about High Fidelity recently... which isn't saying much, given that it's more likely than not a statistical impossibility to pinpoint a time when I haven't been thinking a lot about High Fidelity for one reason or another. But I digress.

At present, the reason I keep coming back to my favorite lines/scenes from the book/movie centers on the Hornbyian wisdom that "it's not what you're like, but what you like" that really matters in the grand scheme of things.

blah...

...is pretty much all I have to say on the subject at the moment.

Q: What subject?

A: Who cares?

Which brings us back to: Blah...

Just finished putting the "free" in "freelance," writing some stuff for 944 on the pro bono tip. And I really need to go and brainstorm for my next project... which I had goddamned-well better finish. Because I never really finish anything I start. Plague of my generation, or is it just me? Probably a little from column A, a great deal more from column B, but I digress...

don quixote, eat your heart out

forever fighting windmills...

...sorry. Things had gotten altogether too "texty" around here. Chalk it up to more of me and my apparently infinite amount of slackage.

This break to the visual monotony, brought to you by Telegraph Avenue.

Ladies & gentlemen of la mancha, g'night!

you win this round, pearson...

Thanks to the persistence of one man (you may or may not know him by the name Juan Canadilla, but that's another story for another day), I'm posting again. It's one of two assignments I've completed for my online fiction class, but I'm too lazy to post both at the moment... not to mention tired. I've spent the better part of my post-9-to-5 day battling writer's block to beat a freelance PR project into submission... hopefully successfully, but there's no knowing that until tomorrow. And now I'm rambling (inarticulately at that), but I really just couldn't care less. So.

Yeah.

The assignment: Write 5 opening lines for the same story. The idea being that each should be a totally unique line, not just a variation or minor alteration of its predecessor.

the bold & the biographical

No matter how old I get, I don't think I'll ever get over the rush of excitement that accompanies the first day of school!

Well, ok... so I'm not technically matriculating anywhere, but my 10-week online fiction workshop started today, & I. Am. STOKED!!

First assignment: Submit a bio, 500 words or less. Given that we're immersed in a virtual classroom, it's a logical exercise to foster a sense of community (blah blah educational buzzword blah).

fast forward :: future flights

Like any red-blooded American, I'm a sucker for a sale. And Southwest played me like a cheap, cheap fiddle...

$145 for a roundtrip flight to Denver, Colo.? Sign me up!

So, in honor of my impending trip to the 303, I present you with some 3OH!3:

day 5 :: trends, trials, & tribulations

After discussing the rise of social media and the downfall of traditional print advertising methods with Tom Doucette, Lindy and I hit the road for Gilbert, Ariz., and an appointment with Trend Homes.

day 4 :: beyond billboards

Sunday marked the beginning of a new month and our last day of travel through Texas, which, as I once saw a bumper sticker proclaim, happens to be bigger than France.

day 3 :: deck the halls with perverted calls

View Larger Map

For the third day of our trip, Lindy and I set out from Monroe, La., with the ambitious goal of seeing just how much of Texas we could cross in a single day.

Turns out they're right: One shouldn't mess with Texas.

day 2 :: when it rains...

...yeah. The photo doesn't nearly do it justice. Let's just put it this way: Have you ever hydroplaned while towing a trailer?

I can now say that I have. And it was a decidedly unpleasant experience.

So given the four hours of non-stop torrential downpouring complete with lightning and 20 mph winds gusting to 40 mph, not many opportunities to take photos presented themselves today.

day 1 :: dog is my co-pilot

Well, today was the big day. Up and at 'em at 5 a.m., and out on the open road by 6. Lindy and I waved goodbye to the District...


...and set out on the first leg of our journey.

on the eve of the adventure...

View Larger Map

Behold, the roadmap to my roadtrip!

Well, the gist of it, at any rate.

Just waiting for some pals to arrive and help me load the U-Haul trailer (I plan to reward them with dinner and drinks), then it's off to watch Wall*E at Casa de Lewis, and then bedtime so I can hit the road at about 5 a.m. tomorrow.

I just hope this nasty headcold has discipated by then...

recession proof

Get it? :)

It's officially official: I've been laid off (although I volunteered to be (long story)). Friday 20 February is my last day, and then preparations for my long-awaited reverse roadtrip kick into high gear (yeah, it's only been about 18 months, but that's a long time for me to live anywhere, let alone on the wrong coast).

You didn't think that all that talk about a newly unemployed 20-something was hypothetical, did you?

housing hypotheticals

Just wrote a new blog post for work and thought at least the first half was worth sharing here.

This seems like it should hardly come as a shock, but newsflash! from Seeking Alpha: Home prices have increased more rapidly than rents, it's significantly cheaper to rent than to buy (not even taking into account the costs of taxes and insurance (albeit also not factoring in that mortgage interest is tax deductible, I'll give you that)). Conclusion: Financially, there is no motivation to buy a home aside from price appreciation. Thus, in a market where homes are depreciating in value (i.e. the current one (in fact, the Wall Street Journal reports that price declines accelerated in 4Q2008)), it is illogical to buy a home.

back in action, take 2

Well, I started the recent impromptu California trip post, I guess I might as well finish it, right?

So from SFO, where I was picked up by my sister, mom, and grandma, we went to P.F. Chang's in Pleasanton—across the street from where I used to work, incidentally—at which point I attempted to teach my mom and hers how to use chopsticks...

This endeavor would ultimately fail. No great surprise there.

back in action

It's weird to think that this was the start to my inaugural weekend: Cocktails at Halo, complete with red, white, and blue ambient lighting. Good friends, good drinks, followed by good food, followed by math jokes on chalkboards (integral of e to the power of x, anyone?)...

Sadly, the fun-filled weekend was destined to be short lived.

Actually, what I found while taking out trash pre-night-out-on-the-town should have clued me in to what was to eventually follow:

Yeah... Not a pretty picture by any stretch of the imagination. I only hope the little guy had expired before the gate closed (if that doesn't make sense, don't ask... trust me, you'll be better off).

At any rate, my fun night out on the town was on the happier side of a punctuating phone call I'd rather not go in to at the moment. Suffice it to say, that call led to a last-minute flight reservation, a 5 a.m. trek to the Dupont Circle Metro station...

...some quality reading time spent at a practically deserted gate...

...a window seat...

...which was awesome. The screaming baby sitting directly behind me? Not so much...

...some fantastic astronautically inspired artwork throughout SFO...

...complete with some bitching robots (I'm a sucker for robots (they're the new pirates, you know))...

...and that's all I really feel like getting in to at the moment. Maybe I'll talk about it more later on. Then again, maybe I won't.

Not like it really matters either way.